The State of New Jersey defines domestic violence as:

the occurrence of one or more of the following criminal acts committed by an adult or emancipated minor: homicide, terroristic threats, kidnapping, assault, criminal restraint, sexual assault, false imprisonment, lewdness, criminal mischief, burglary, harassment, stalking, criminal trespass or criminal sexual contact.

Not every instance of domestic violence needs to be physical. Over the years, in conversations with both women and men, many times they do not think they are not victims of domestic violence simply because there has not been physical abuse by their spouse or significant other. Harassing text messages, telephone calls, threatening words or mental abuse can do just as much damage as a physical altercation.

There are many places you can go for help if you feel you have been, or are being abused by your significant other — visit http://www.njcbw.org to find help in your county.

Who is a victim of Domestic Violence?

A very specific group of individuals are protected by Domestic Violence laws in New Jersey. A victim is:

someone 18 years or older who is subjected to abuse by a spouse, former spouse, or any other person who is a present or former household member.

And — regardless of your age — you are a victim if you have been subjected to domestic violence by a someone with whom you share a child, are pregnant with their child, or have had a dating relationship with.

You are not alone. There are a number of reasons why many women are afraid to step forward and admit that domestic violence is present in their lives. Many are scared that the violence will get worse. Some think they “deserve it,” while there are others who feel they must stay for financial reasons. Whatever your specific reason may be, please understand that there are many resources to help you and your children through this difficult time — you do have options.

If you need help, please consider visiting the web site for the New Jersey Coalition for Battered Women.

Restraining Orders: How do I file for a restraining order?

There are two ways to obtain a temporary restraining order.

1. If the police have not been called and you are away from the immediate danger, you can go to the Superior Court in your county and ask for the Family Division. An intake officer at the county will assist you in filing the complaint. A judge will review the complaint and decide whether to issue the temporary order.
2. If the Court is closed (in the evening or on a weekend, for example), you can go to your local police station. An officer can advise you of all of the procedures involved. The officer will take your statement and will contact a Municipal Court Judge who will review the Complaint and decide if there is probable cause to issue the temporary order.

Regardless of whether you go to the Superior Court or to the police station, you can also file a criminal complaint against the offender, which will generally be heard in municipal court.